Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

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  (917): I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina. http://tfl.nu/mdvg
  Replies (81) Good night (775) Bad night (9712)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

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  (503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e
  Replies (19) Good night (4377) Bad night (642)
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  (914): View more from New York

  we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.

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  (914): we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was. http://tfl.nu/57fr
  Replies (27) Good night (6069) Bad night (1645)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.

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  (435): it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/c95w
  Replies (36) Good night (1359) Bad night (5331)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4

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  (434): She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4 http://tfl.nu/9o7z
  Replies (45) Good night (2140) Bad night (6807)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out

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  (239): they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out http://tfl.nu/ncls
  Replies (2) Good night (3671) Bad night (774)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

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  (773): That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper http://tfl.nu/zcg4
  Replies (3) Good night (1905) Bad night (738)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

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  (989): It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here. http://tfl.nu/e0yb
  Replies (6) Good night (3264) Bad night (1127)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Please tell me you're talking about his personality.

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  (347): Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year. (917): Please tell me you're talking about his personality. http://tfl.nu/ofhy
  Replies (7) Good night (2274) Bad night (1133)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.

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  (519): She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot. http://tfl.nu/3yos
  Replies (18) Good night (1854) Bad night (623)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.

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  (512): well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber. http://tfl.nu/rkm3
  Replies (4) Good night (1552) Bad night (482)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.

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  (313): I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to. http://tfl.nu/ozzk
  Replies (8) Good night (490) Bad night (951)
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  (714): View more from California

  You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.

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  (714): You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid. http://tfl.nu/jhks
  Replies (5) Good night (478) Bad night (885)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.

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  (316): I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas. http://tfl.nu/msox
  Replies (0) Good night (597) Bad night (297)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.

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  (319): I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video. http://tfl.nu/l44k
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (294)

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