help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Green mimosas i think yes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.