Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.