we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
is wine microwaveable?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF