Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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  (907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls
  Replies (38) Good night (8665) Bad night (1401)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.

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  (843): 70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up. http://tfl.nu/l18e
  Replies (13) Good night (636) Bad night (4489)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.

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  (908): I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool. http://tfl.nu/5y98
  Replies (13) Good night (2042) Bad night (3841)
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  (530): View more from California

  you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"

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  (530): you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars" http://tfl.nu/ujcf
  Replies (7) Good night (4841) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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  (305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/d686
  Replies (31) Good night (5262) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar

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  (513): Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar http://tfl.nu/rpu6
  Replies (7) Good night (3706) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.

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  (978): girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good. http://tfl.nu/jyv0
  Replies (4) Good night (1632) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.

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  (506): They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them. http://tfl.nu/xyk5
  Replies (8) Good night (2885) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

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  (208): Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all. http://tfl.nu/lyhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1771) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!

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  (315): HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT! http://tfl.nu/pd33
  Replies (13) Good night (410) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

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  (505): Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels. http://tfl.nu/3182
  Replies (3) Good night (250) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!

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  (608): Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know! http://tfl.nu/hgdr
  Replies (2) Good night (281) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award

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  (618): Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award http://tfl.nu/x66g
  Replies (8) Good night (892) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're the common denominator of my blackouts.

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  (202): You're the common denominator of my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/n8nz
  Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.

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  (562): I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom. http://tfl.nu/o8ix
  Replies (2) Good night (219) Bad night (556)

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