Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
