HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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