she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
