remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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