well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I intend to get homeless drunk
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
