what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
