I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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