Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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