i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize