Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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