Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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