Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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