Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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