haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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