If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
