All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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