There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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