fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Swine flu. Run for my life!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize