Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
