So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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