she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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