she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
