I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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