Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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