im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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