where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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