I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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