my sisters under your porch take her home
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??