3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".