dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?