We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.