Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize