if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
