All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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