Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
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I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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