Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
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