I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
