had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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