I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
