would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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