Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
