Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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