I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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