are you still at the devil's house?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
