Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
