oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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