After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
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I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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