It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
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the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls