Girls should come with a carfax report
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.