Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize