And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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