I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
