due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
