Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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