i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
