ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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