then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
