I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
