Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
