i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
