Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize