I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
