My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I believe in your delicious
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
