Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
