If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
