I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
