Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
