he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The Olympian is in my bed
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
