Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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